Monday I was out on "The Beast" to run an errand and then help out a friend with his Goldwing. It was a warm and partly sunny midday, with thunderstorms in the evening well after I got safely home. My riding bud has been laid up since winter, and is no closer to riding after stints in the hospital and rehab facilities. I don't think he will ever be able to ride on two wheels again, so I went over to dust off, start, and take his 2015 Goldwing out for a short run. It already had and still had a full tank of fuel when I got back. He came out in the blazing heat with his walker and sat on his bike side-saddle, and then barely made it back into the house without collapsing. I thought his girlfriend was gonna kill him for that. I let his bike cool down and hooked up his battery charger and put the cover on. On the way home I had a revelation. I stream iHeart Radio on my cell phone, connected to my bike via a Bluetooth adapter. I happened to be streaming the iHeart 70's channel and something felt really familiar. Not deja vu but just very familiar. OF COURSE.... I KNOW WHAT IT IS!!
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| The earlier model Archer Road Patrol Bike Radio I had |
I got one of these for maybe my 11th birthday. My siblings had later received the newer round red model. They were AM only, mounted to the handlebars of your bike, and had an electronic horn. There was a large round yellow reflector on the other side. We spent all summer riding our bikes from just after breakfast until dark every single day it wasn't raining. All of us had our bike radios tuned to WDRC AM-1360 in Hartford listening to the pop hits of the day, and what they play on iHeart 70's is exactly what they used to play on WDRC. Just before the WDRC noon news break every day, the DJ (I believe it was Ted Dalaku) would say the day's "sandwich of the day" (which was usually a gross combination of foods and toppings) and then loudly proclaim, "It's LUUUUUUUUNCH TIME!!!" followed by the news jingle and noon news with Walt Dibble. After the noon news it was music with commercial breaks until late afternoon drive time when news and traffic would be at the top and bottom of the hour in between music. While I was heading home on my motorcycle Monday listening to my streaming tunes, I was mentally transported back to summer vacation 1974 as a 12 year old kid riding my bicycle. Oh if only I could have 3 months off every summer to do nothing but have fun like a kid again with no worries or cares as an adult.
Today would have been Cassidy Wofford's 35th birthday. Who is she you ask? She was a PT I once transported that attempted to commit suicide by lying down in the middle of a dark back country road. Luckily an alert motorist spotted her and called 911. I won't go into any more detail, but she is the primary reason I do not like what I call the "sad little girl call." To me the "sad little girl" is 13-22 years old, depressed, suicidal, crying her eyes out, most likely abused, a cutter, and I am probably meeting her because of a suicide attempt and a law enforcement 72 hour psychiatric hold in the ER. While there have been many others, she is the one that I probably should have sought counseling for, it was that upsetting. I am much better on these calls now, even though I still would rather drive the boo-boo bus and let someone else tech the call.
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| Cassidy during one of her few happier times. |
Cassidy had moved out of state; to Kentucky I believe, and finally, sadly committed suicide on May 28, 2011. At 35 she would have been only 3 years younger than my own daughter. I think about her on both days; her birthday and death day.
Happy Birthday in Heaven, Little One. You are not forgotten and although you never knew it, you touched someone that really did care for you.
My friend's sister, Alison... Everyone called her Allie... She was the HAPPIEST KID! Something happened to her in her early teens; some kind of hormonal imbalance... By eighteen she had killed herself after several attempts... I can still remember her with her friends, sitting around one of those portable record players in the living room of her house, singing to the "Band Of Gold" 45 they had spinning on it...
ReplyDeleteShe was just my friend's sister, barely touching the periphery of my life. Still, when this kind of thing is discussed, SHE is the one I remember...
"Self preservation" might be the most ingrained, basic tenet of life. I can't imagine what could a person be thinking to kill them self.
ReplyDelete@Peteforester & Matthew W (and everyone else): I understand that level of desparation first hand, attempting it once myself at age 22 and my wife 6 months pregnant with my daughter. I was in a bad situation with seemingly no good way out.
ReplyDeleteI was working on a renovation for Aetna located on the 30th floor of City Place in Hartford. I was working up there alone with my thoughts and decided "that's it, I'm out!" My plan was to throw an office chair through the window and follow it out. I grabbed a chair, picked it up and heaved at a window facing the street, ensuring I would spatter on the sidewalk below. Fortunately, office tower windows are tempered glass, so the chair bounced right off landing on its wheels and spinning around. It was almost like it was taunting and laughing at me. I sat down on the floor and started laughing and crying at the same time. I felt like a total idiot and like it was a sign not to try that again.
It turned out the situation was a big ol' nothing burger. I have never ever even considered such an option since. Even as a firearms owner, it never occurred to me to go that way.
The only people in meat space that know that story are suicidal psych patients I have transported in the ambulance. I use my story to let them know I really understand where they are coming from, and how permanent a solution suicide is. I have never told my wife, and this is the first time I ever wrote about it.
I'm going out on a limb here....I think that hormones, too early of a sexual encounter and peer pressure ALL weigh in on young girls and their fateful decisions.
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