A Day At Six Flags With Family

Sunday is normally bike outing day, but when the invitation came from my SIL and niece for my wife and I to join them for free, I couldn't pass it up. I haven't been in several years and looked forward to it. They have season passes and this weekend was one of Six Flags "bring a friend" events. The season pass includes free parking for a bonus.

Yesterday in preparation of our outing, I went on the Six Flags website to read their Health & Safety policies. I was pleasantly surprised. The jist of it was that the Chink Bug is out there and contagious, use caution, and any exposure you think you get at their facility is ON YOU! Face diapers are recommended for the non-jabbed but not mandatory and no jab checks. Perfect!

The other thing I did was to fuck with the NSA. I shut my phone off before we left the house, and turned it back on halfway home. Let 'em try and figure out where I was all day and who I might have been associating with.

We got to the park just before noon and parked way out in East Bumfuck meaning a brisk 10+ minute walk to the entrance. We got in, hit the restrooms, and went to get some food. Their season pass has the added meal plan so lunch was included and plenty to share. Lunch was finished time to hit the rides. The crowds were large with no stoopid Chink Bug distancing and hardly any face diapers. Jabbed or not, nobody cared and nobody asked.

My wife and I love roller coasters and have been enjoying them together for the better part of 40 years. We have been to amusement parks all over the U.S., the best one by far is Cedar Point in Sandusky, OH. However, I have my limits. The effects of coasters are cumulative on me and if I am not careful to know when to quit, I will be puking my guts up, although in a private and controlled manner. My wife, however has no such limitation. First up was the redesigned Cyclone, a wood and steel hybrid. The original was all wood and IMHO fast, rough and not pleasant to ride at all. I remember riding the original for the first time the day after my wife's senior prom in 1982. This new version was fast and smooth with at least two full barrel rolls. Very enjoyable. The characters in the lines and in the general crowds were... uh... shall we say bizarre? First, there was a group of mentally ill black and hispanic "boys" that were obviously male but were dressed like and acted like girls. What the fuck... do you really think 99% of the NORMAL PEOPLE around you don't feel ill looking at you and watching your antics? One was dressed in a brown bikini, denim Daisy Duke's, fuzzy slippers, purse slung over a shoulder, and full makeup and nail polish. Total case for an asylum to be sure. I was so glad they got ahead enough to get on the ride and out of there before we did so I didn't have to see and hear them any more. We thankfully never saw them again.

Next up was the Superman ride in a different section of the park, which meant a walk through the main walkways. Wanna see actual racial diversity and harmony with not a hint of dreaded white supremacy? Go to this Six Flags park. I would make a good guess that white folks like me and my little group were definitely in the minority. Didn't phase us in the least. That said, there are some (mostly, but not just) black households that must not have mirrors. When you are 300+ pounds and stuff yourself into leotards or yoga pants, parts of you pop out in... shall we say, unnatural places. Boobs, butts, and hips flopping and flapping as you walk is not a good look. And for those babes that look smokin' hot rocking that look, don't be shocked by those of us healthy Alpha Males that give you an up and down or second look. I had my sunglasses on all day, so long looks went unnoticed by wifey and those I was looking at. The Superman coaster had a couple of short pauses while we were in line for whatever reason. My niece had never ridden it and my wife and I applied severe peer pressure to her to ride. The second pause lasted almost 15 minutes and just as were about to enter the boarding area. I told my niece each pause just adds to the "danger" and our chances of death just jumped tenfold from .000001% to .00001%. The ride resumed and in short order we were on board. The ride was as exhilirating as I remember, and for all her nonsense and hesitation my niece loved it. She would have ridden again if the line wasn't so long. As an aside, my Dad loved the Superman ride and was probably 77 years old last time he rode it.

Because it was a short day, I was done with rides. My wife and niece rode a spinning ride (I always avoid those) and the Batman coaster. There were a couple of brief rain showers, but not enough to shut down any rides. As we made our way to the exit, we stopped and got ice cream. There is a place near the exit that serves premium hard ice cream, no soft serve crap for us. Surprisingly, it took us longer to walk back to our cars than it did to drive out to the main road. The park and local cops do a good job of directing traffic and getting everyone out of there.

One last thing. As usual I was carrying earlier in the day. I forgot to remove my 45 Shield from my pocket, and halfway there realized I was still carrying it. Oops, I am heading to MA where my permit is not valid. When we met up with my SIL in Enfield, I unloaded my pistol and stashed it deep under the back seat. Six Flags is less than a mile over the stateline, so I was not too concerned about getting caught. But it is just beyond stupid that there is no national reciprocity, and I am a criminal for simply crossing an imaginary line in possession of my legally owned property.