Chi-Com Xi Flu - Still Out There

Against my wishes, my beloved wife threw me a surprise birthday party. She has done this on every ten year "milestone" since I turned 30. I told her not to do it this year and she didn't. My birthday came and went with my wife, her Dad, and I just going out for a nice seafood dinner at Sturbridge Seafood. I thought I dodged the bullet. This past weekend was my sportsman's club annual clambake. It is our largest event of the year and biggest fundraiser. I was going to be tied up at least the first half of Saturday and all day Sunday, never giving a surprise party a thought.

So I got to the club a little after 8 AM Saturday and was busy as a beaver the whole time. I always work in the kitchen, which is ironic since I hated nothing more in the military than pulling K.P. But I have skills... culinary skills... and they are much appreciated by the kitchen chairman, other kitchen help, and the club in general.  My phone kept alerting me that my Blink camera was detecting motion and recording videos. I didn't pay attention at first because sometimes people bring their dogs to my wife for grooming, or she lets our dogs run loose in the yard and they trip it off. When I had a few minute break, I looked at my phone and the videos. I refuse to pay Amazon for a Blink storage subscription, so I store them locally on a USB drive. Unfortunately, that means I have to view each one in order to delete it. There were like 30 video clips! I start looking at them and see my wife and her father coming and going. Then I see them unloading his pickup truck with tables and coolers, and now my niece is there. What the fuck... ? Don't look now Glypto, but there's somethin' funny goin' on over at your house. I never really seen one before but that's got all the earmarks of being a party! Reminds me of this scene from one of my favorite movies, "It's A Wonderful Life" and the run on the banks. 

Oh yeah, she's putting together a party. I show one of the guys in the club kitchen and he cooks up an idea... send her a text saying something happened and you won't be home. Oh how perfect! I send her the following text:

"Hey, not many guys showed up and we have had some difficulties. I may not be home until after 9 PM."

Me and the other guys are giggling like schoolboys looking at pictures of boobies, anxiously awaiting a reply. Several minutes go by and nothing. Now I am trying to figure out; is she so busy she doesn't have her phone on her? Or is she making a mad scramble to call other people and cook up a plan to drag me away from the club. After another 15 minutes or so it is obvious, she doesn't have her phone. We finish our prep work and I head home about 1 PM. Sure enough, they are setting up a party and the jig is up. Oh, my wife tries to lie and say "it's just a little BBQ" but that is obviously bullshit. Especially since the turkey fryer is set up and full of corn on the cob. Guests start showing up around 5 PM. We have a good time ending with a bonfire and everyone had gone home before 11. The next day at the clambake, I worked like a dog from 8:30 AM until 6 PM. I got home and collapsed in a chair for an hour or so, then got up to do the evening work night routine before bed. I was pretty sore so a couple of Advil PM before bed did the trick.

So what exactly, you might ask, does any of this have to do with Ch-Com Xi Flu? First off, a couple we are friends with that came to the party are true-blue Branch Covidians, both double jabbed and boosted. I caught them off-guard by ignoring his "fist-bump" and shaking his hand, and just giving her a full embrace. Second, both of my sisters-in-law didn't come, because being double jabbed and double boosted, they are both at home COVID positive. My brother in law's wife is really miserable. She described her sore throat as feeling like she was swallowing broken glass. I didn't talk to my brother's wife, but she does have a compromised immune system from previous cancer treatments, and he stayed home because he was exposed. Also one of the guests that was there, got over it herself a week earlier that was also jabbed and boosted. Again... not ever having a drop of that poison shit squirted into my body, and since I was really sick with an unknown upper respiratory crud in March 2020, I have not been sick. But I'm sure as soon as the evil little Dr. Fraud-Xi says to get another booster, they all will run out to get one. Thankfully, my wife that got the "one and done" J&J clot-shot, has not succumbed to any more external pressure to get boosters and has stated she will not in the future. The bug-eyed director of DPH and shill for big pharma jabs for the state of Kommiecticut is campaigning hard to try and get parents to jab/boost their kids before the beginning of the next school years because...

 

OMG... WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!